Sunday, November 06, 2005


Well, I get a call late night, "Faded Beauty" and Italian Heroin-stud have got the dog back.

Think Anorexic Joanna Lumley with a cockney accent, and a fat n' greasy Beppe [Eastenders.]

There was a knock on Madam Ex's front-door amid all the fireworks of the 5/11. Before Madam Ex had a chance to spit out the venom he was expecting to decide the matter, the dog shot out between his legs, and Joanna Lumley and Beppe legged it with the scabby, but now flea-free dog.

On the phone to me what was Madame Ex's first idea? For me to punch him in the face and then ring the police and accuse "Beppe" of assault. "The dog would still remain her property" I sighed.

I sigh, because Madam Ex has been mooning for the last week or so over hairy straight neighbour, losing his temper when I implore him to notify the authorities about the dog's neglect. Now the yorkshire terrier has bolted, he wants the RSPCA to come on like dambusters. I am actually obseving complete amnesia on his part about just how defensive he's been at my pleading.

I was furious, mainly at myself for ever entertaining the possibility that Madame Ex's head contained even one synapse. After having rung the RSPCA, I stalk out of my house, my two dust bunnies in tow. The new legislation regarding now fireworks after 11.0pm meant I thought it was all clear. My dogs are used to the odd banging tune, so they aren't too bothered by a bang or two.

On the home stretch we passed a large brutalist council estate with lot's of green space surrounding it. A resident obviously felt that an enormous firework display was still permissable if it was as far away from the block as possible. Unfortunately for me and the dogs, that meant right up against the road, albeit screened from pedestrians by trees.

The first I knew were SEVERAL rockets all going off at once, just the other side of the road. It was like the blitz! Ash rained down around us, as I swiftly scooped up two petrified dogs and scuttled down the road.

I feel really down about the whole dog matter, and consequently have really been struggling to string even one witticism together. There is a wonderfully succinct post on Troubled Diva's blog about the whole blogging phonomena. No one seems to want to read blogs about blogging, and I couldn't put it better myself, so click on the link and see where I've been going wrong.

1 comment:

Reluctant Nomad said...

I've never watched East Enders but I've had dinner with Joanna Lumley but that doesn't really help me imagining what you are trying to portray :-)